Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
