Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
This house was built for laser tag.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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