Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize