8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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