I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
