can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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