wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
