that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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