I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
