i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
