I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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