I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
