It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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