my phone needs a breathalizer
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
