Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
