Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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