so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
where are my eyebrows?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
