I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
