You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
