Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
