So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
