Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
