i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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