If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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