i just wanna soil my oats bro
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You can't motorboat a personality
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
