We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize