Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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