sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize