My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize