Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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