Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im holly from the hills drunk
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
