Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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