I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
