you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
