so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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