I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Randomize
