I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Let's get the cat blown out
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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