i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
