while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
