Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
