two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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