Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
