Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
