is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
