So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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