Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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