This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have already put on my inside pants.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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