you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
