he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
