wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
