Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i drank out of a bidet.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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