i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
