redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
