In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can you repeat that, but with context?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
