you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
