White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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