New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
