And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
