I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
