Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
