he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So vagazzling was a success
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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