he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
